Yesterday was the last day of workshops. Tomorrow I drive back to Illinois. I'm feeling somewhat energized about bringing back to my church all the things I took out of the seminars. The nice thing about doing this kind of forum in the spring time when tomorrow is the last day of Sunday school is that I now have the rest of the summer to pull together some kind of youth task force to talk about plans for the middle and high schoolers come fall. I also am excited about the new additions for my library!
Yesterday I only had one workshop and it was called, "Pracademia," led by Jason Santos. Jason was actually one of my preceptors when I was in seminary and the workshop was geared towards encouraging us as participants to do some soul searching within a faith group to find a sense of truth in that space between the academic and the practitioner. In other words, how do we maintain a student-and-pastor mentality instead of student or pastor. And he emphasized the hyphens, which really illustrated his point. This is something that actually really spoke to me yesterday since I've been living in this transition between being a seminary graduate and a new pastor. The faith group that Jason mentioned consists of a couple of people who are outside of the school and church but are part of a circle of trust, creating a safe space for exploration of how the Holy Spirit works in our individual lives.
It's about integration.
Jason encouraged us to face our monsters. He said, "Our monsters are not our enemies. Our monsters are our guides to the depths of our souls. They will lead us to our deepest fears, which is where we will also find wholeness." As pastors, we bring a certain degree of baggage into the pulpit. Some pastors bring more than others. For me -- and my congregation knows this -- my baggage coming into the new church was the fact that everything for me was so unbelievably new and everything last summer happened so quickly. There wasn't really time for me to really think about what being a seminary graduate meant, although in retrospect that might be a good thing. I entered ministry with a lot of homesickness, and maybe even a bit of resentment towards God for making following his directions mean that I had to move 900 miles away from everyone I knew. I've started a new life, though certain aspects of my old life are still an active part of my new existence. My task has been to find that new norm, that new space to integrate the new ordained Rebecca Weltmann with the previous versions of my self. As Jason pointed out, it's not about ceasing to be whoever I was before graduation and figuring out who the new me is, but about figuring out how the Spirit has led me and helped me to grow in addition to my identity before graduation. Who I am now is made possible only by who I was in seminary.
And to be honest, not much has changed. I've been slowly figuring out new norms. My long distance relationship has been challenging, but also rewarding. Skype makes the world a little bit smaller, which helps tremendously. My family has been so supportive and we stay in touch as reguarly as we can. I'm assimilating into my new environment by making friends and getting involved in social activities like going to work out at the gym and going out places with friends. So how have things been going? In reflection about where I started and where I am now with my congregation, things are going really well.
I'm feeling inspired to take back what I've learned in the seminars and bring them into my own ministry. This is still a part of that transitional space Jason talked about. What does it mean to integrate the material into my own church context? That will be my reflection time for the next couple of months as we look to revamp our Christian ed program.
One of Jason's closing thoughts was, "It's not about what we know as individuals; it's about what we know as a community." As we look towards the future and the ways we can grow as a community, I find myself excited and inspired to seek out the ways to put legs on these theories. The great thing about these seminars was that even though the focus was on how it relates to youth ministry, the materials are things that I can use in a myriad of ways all over my ministry. I can't wait to get back to Illinois and carry this momentum along with me.
Yours in the Peace of Christ,
Pastor Becki
No comments:
Post a Comment